I have been asked this question a lot lately. I never really thought about it until recently and could never really answer it. I have pondered this over and over and my answer used to be "forgetting what happened and moving on". But the more I think about it the more that answer does not seem right. Forgiveness is letting go of hope for a better past, knowing that you can let go of the hurt but not forgetting what it taught you. You will always remember but know that the past cannot be changed but the future can.
Forgiving yourself is one of the hardest thing you will do. We always hold ourselves at a higher standard than everyone else. We do something wrong, like cheating on a partner, we say things to ourselves like "I never should have done that. I'm a horrible person". But when someone else does it to us we are quick to forgive, even when they are repeat offenders. Knowing and accepting the fact that the past cannot be changed is the first step in forgiving ourselves. Changing how we feel about what we have done makes future mistakes like this more easily avoided. We become more honest with ourselves which, in turn, makes us honest with others. So remember, letting go of the hurt does not necessarily mean forgetting. Forgiveness can only happen when you let go of your hurt and resentment and look towards a better future.
